When the love bug bites
Falling in love with your best friend can go one of two ways. It could end up being a dream straight out of a Hollywood movie that ends in a beautiful relationship. Or it could end up being a nightmare on Awkward Street if your best friend doesn’t feel the same way.
Either way, if you find yourself in this predicament, you will realize pretty fast that taking the risk is better than suffering in silence. How you choose to deliver this potential friendship shattering news makes all the difference.
But you probably have no clue how to tell your best friend you’re in love with her, huh? Don’t worry; we have your back! Below is all you need to know about telling her the right way.
Find the right timing and setting
Should I tell my friend I like her? Is the timing right? Is she available?
These are crucial questions to ask yourself. I mean obviously, it would be wholly inappropriate to tell her when she is in a relationship. The choice of timing will seriously affect the outcome, so be careful about it. Look out for signs that she likes you.
The setting also matters a lot. Doing it in places that mean something special to the two of you could increase her chances of responding positively.
Gauge her feelings towards you
Before you go blurting it out, try and figure out whether or not she would be receptive to such a revelation. That would help spare you a lot of pain down the line.
How does she relate with you? Has she ever referred to you as just a brother? Has she every completely negatively overreacted when someone assumed you were a couple?
These clues will help guide you on whether or not to break the news to her. Needless to say, if the forecast seems dismal, then it might be harder for you if you choose to proceed with ‘project open-heart.’
Test her with some subtle moves
If your history together doesn’t give you enough clues, you may have to set things in motion yourself. Teasing her and initiating delicate contact could help you figure things out. That is, of course, assuming that your relationship doesn’t already include flirty touching.
If she seems to welcome you playing with her hair or leaning on her shoulder, then maybe things will turn out great. And if they thought at least, you will go into the reveal with some confidence, albeit unfounded.
Bring up the conversation hypothetically
“Imagine if you and I dated, that would be interesting, right?”
Find a way to bring in a bogus scenario of the two of you together and listen to her reaction. You could even make up a story about some friend or cousin of yours who fell in love with their best friend and see what she feels about it.
Prepare yourself for any outcome
Remember that this could go either well or poorly. Part of preparing to tell her is acknowledging and accepting this fact. That way, you will be able to find smart ways to do it and to move on afterward.
Have someone else do it
If the thought of facing your best friend is too daunting, then have someone else to it. If you have a mutual friend that you can trust with this, then you can come up with a wise way to have the news delivered.
One way to do it would be to have someone tease your girl BFF about how the two of you would be great together. You could also get someone to tell her that you like her, but in a maybe-he-does-maybe-he-doesn’t kind of way to be safe.
Let it all out
It’s a big day. You did your hair all nice, wore your best cologne, and are ready to pour hour heart out. Make sure that when you get to her, you leave nothing inside. Tell her not just that you love her but also why, for how long and what you would hope. It might be the only chance you get to make your case, so do yourself some justice.
Do not put her under pressure
When figuring out how to tell your best friend, you like her; it is vital to avoid ultimatums or exceeding expectations. You do not want her to feel under any pressure. And while it is essential to state what you would like to come out of it, you need to let her know that she can do whatever she wants and you will be ok with it.
Give her time and space to process
The final tip on how to tell a friend you like her is to back off. Whether or not she feels the same way, she will need time to take it all in. Let her. And when she is ready to give you her response be warm and open.
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I love you, but I am not in love with you. This eleven-word combination hits harder than a torpedo. If you have been on the receiving end of it, then you know exactly what I am talking about.
You probably thought that you were done searching and had found someone who was just as into you as you were into them. All the online list-type articles on how to tell whether he or she is in love with you only supported your theories and gut feelings. Then you had this bomb dropped on you.
Well, honey, first of all, you need to know that you did nothing wrong. And neither did the other person.
Confused? Not to worry!
Here is more about the difference between loving and being in love and how to know where you stand with someone you are interested in.
What is love?
Before you jump on his or her neck, calling them a liar for claiming to love you, you need to understand what love means. Knowing this will show you that it is very possible to love a person and not be in love with them. Note that there is a difference between love and crush.
Love can be described in many different ways. It has been branded everything from warm fuzzies feelings to hard evidence actions. Below is a four-part code of respect that essentially combines all these definitions for easier understanding.
Yes, love is a warm fuzzy feeling. The emotional connection makes you happy to see this person and spend time with them. It makes you long to be around them even when you just spent time together.
And guess what, this is not limited just to romantic settings. You probably feel the same about your friends and your family.
A foundation of friendship
A good friendship basis also defines love. That means, all expectations aside, you do care for each other as friends. You share interests and love to hang out together. You goof off together, laugh together, cry together, and are pillars for one another. That is love.
More like family
Another essential defining feature of love is the feeling of a familial connection. In a romantic setting, you and your partner may want to start a family together. In more platonic settings, these people feel as close to you as your actual family members are. So being in that girl’s friend zone might not be the worst thing. At least you know they love you.
The desire to serve and help out
Finally, true love means wanting the best for each other. It is more of an active feeling where you not only want it for them but are willing to do whatever it takes to participate. It could be anything from financial contribution to helping out with physical tasks.
Is there a difference between loving and being in love?
Now we are getting to the good stuff. What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with them? The answer is simple: physical attraction and sexual connection.
When someone is in love with you, they exhibit the four codes of love already highlighted above. However, what sets being in love apart from just love is that there is also an intense sexual attraction.
So when he or she dropped the eleven-word bomb, they meant that they do not see or want you as a sexual partner. However, this does not mean that they do not love and care for you. Got it?
Falling in love all over again
By now, you should understand the simple difference between love and being in love. It might also interest you to know that you can be in love with someone and end up falling out of love with them.
That happens when either the sexual connection or one of the other four summarized definitions of love are compromised. The good news is that there is a lot that you can do to salvage the relationship.
Here is a simple list of seven things to help you fall back in love with each other:
• Let go of the denial and accept that there is a problem.
Knowing when to fold them
Finally, it is crucial to know that not all love can be salvaged. Sometimes those eleven dreadful words are a death sentence for your relationship, and you might have to move on. If all your efforts to revive the love and magic seem to have failed, it is time to pack up and let go. It will hurt for a while, but I promise you that you will get over it.
The post I Love You, But I’m Not in Love with You: Analysis and Solution appeared first on ❤️ Loving Community ❤️.
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Do you remember when you were younger, and your parents insisted that you had to wait until you were old enough to start dating? At the time, there was nothing more annoying than this!
Now that you’re older, you probably understand how love and romance become more powerful and how the desire to meet a partner with a similar mindset grows the more you age. That is one of the reasons you should consider dating older women!
In this article, we will discuss why having an affair with mature women is so fulfilling.
Benefits of dating an older woman
No mind games
Younger men dating older women do not have to worry about being the victims of mind games. You do not have to bend over backwards, trying to figure out what she wants or means. You do not have to tiptoe around her in the fear that you may fall into one of her many emotional traps. In these relationships, things are said as they are and dealt with openly.
Extreme confidence and high self-esteem
Mature women are very confident, sure of themselves, and comfortable in their skin. It means that you do not have to try and boost her self-esteem by continually complimenting her.
Her confidence will manifest itself in several ways, including:
• The way she dresses.
They are experienced in every way possible
Older women have seen it all. They have experienced real love and heartbreak. They have seen success and failure. These experiences will come in handy when it comes to building something substantial as a couple.
She will teach you to have to love and fight fair. She will show you how to invest and start successful ventures. In a nutshell, you will have a deep well of wisdom at your disposal.
No outsider interference in your relationship
Older women understand the importance of making relationship decisions without third-party intervention. So you do not have to worry about impressing not only her but also her pose of gal pals. They may be important to her, but she has enough confidence in her decisions not to be swayed by their opinions.
Another benefit of having an affair with an older woman is the fact that they are independent. First, they are most likely financially independent, as they will have established a career to support themselves.
Secondly, mature women are usually emotionally independent, as well. She will want you, but she won’t need you – no need to play the role of her emotional hero.
They are open to learning and trying new things
These women are not know-it-alls. Despite their wealth of wisdom and experience, they are always willing to learn something new.
It means you will have a chance to contribute to the relationship by teaching her how the game of love and romance have changed since she last played.
Here’s what can you teach her:
• Modern unspoken rules of dating
More realistic relationship expectations
The fact that they have been in several relationships before means that older women know precisely how they work. They do not expect life through rose-colored eyes or a perfect happily ever after.
They will be ready for everything, including:
• Inevitable fights and disagreements.
They are very sensual and sexually liberated
Finally, you have an amazing and profound intimate life to look forward to should you decide to date an older woman. Figuring out how to have sex with older women is pretty simple.
Just follow the three cardinal rules:
• Follow her lead.
Older gals have a lot to offer, especially if you are tired of the drama of young girls. If you need a break and want to experience real and mature love, you should consider dating an older woman. Try out No Strings Attached, it’s the best sites for discret sex with mature women.
Whether she is a few years older or old enough to be your mother, do not shy away. Give her a chance, and you will be pleasantly surprised.
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When it comes to looking for love, we all have different tastes and preferences. Fortunately, there are lots of online dating sites dedicated to specific niches to help us find exactly who we’re looking for.
It doesn’t matter whether you want a serious relationship or a casual flirt. Or whether you want to sign up with a site for single parents or a platform where people in larger bodies can meet. Whatever your needs, you’re bound to find a website that’s right for you.
When it comes to dating people from South America, AmoLatina is one of the best niche dating websites out there. If you have a soft spot for the exotic looks and that sexy Latin drawl, then read on!
Eight Reasons why AmoLatina is the #1 Latin Dating Site
1. You can meet singles from all of Latin America
AmoLatina is a niche communications platform and dating website that helps singles find Latin partners.
When you are a member of the site, you can meet lots of attractive single men and women from all over Central and South American countries.
Contrary to popular belief, not all Latin societies and cultures are the same. One of the best things about Amo Latina is that it allows you to talk to Latinos from different cultures. This will give you a chance to truly appreciate how much diversity there is in this group.
2. Filtered searches for better chances of matching
AmoLatina takes a freeform destiny-is-in-your-hands kind of approach. This means that instead of professional matchmaking, they let you browse profiles of other members and evaluate compatibility by yourself.
Since AmoLatina has thousands of members, the process of going through all profiles on the site is pretty much impossible.
This is why they have set up the filtered search option. Filters allow you to specify your preferences in different search variables including age, language, gender, nationality and so on.
After you’ve set the filters on the website or the new Amolatina mobile dating app, you’ll only see profiles that meet your specifications saving you a lot of time and energy.
You can also use the innovative “Let’s Mingle” feature, which allows you to send a mass message to a group of people who match your preferences.
For example, let’s say you want to date women who are aged 20-25. All you have to do is open the “Let’s Mingle” tool from the right top corner of the site, set your preferences and click send. The site will then send your chosen message to all the women who are between 20-25 years old.
3. Security and confidentiality is a priority
AmoLatina’s strict security measures make it not only the best Latin dating site but also one of the best overall online dating services.
You can rest assured that your security is the service’s number one priority. They have various strict anti-scam policies and subsequent fraud-detection systems in place. These will help protect you from scammers and other fraudulent users who are on the site for the wrong reasons.
They also encrypt every user’s data and personal information. This will ensure that all your confidential information and interactions remain just that – confidential.
4. Different communication platforms and a new Amo Latina app
The amazing communication options also contribute to AmoLatina being the number one Latin dating site.
Most other websites will simply offer you a chatting platform, which significantly limits your communicating options and might force you to have to give away sensitive information like home phone numbers.
AmoLatina, on the other hand, will offer you many different communication channels to choose from. These include:
The Video Chat channel is very useful if you want to verify the identity of the person you are interacting with and avoid getting scammed.
All the communication options are also available on the new AmoLatina mobile dating app, which makes keeping up with chats and dating online easy and convenient.
5. It offers lots of unique services
As if the wide variety of communication platforms wasn’t enough, AmoLatina has gone the extra mile and offers you services to help make the online dating process run even more smoothly.
One of these unique services is the gift delivery service:
If you express yourself mainly through giving gifts, then long-distance relationships can be a pain. You want to spoil your beau, but shipping could cost a fortune. With AmoLatina, all you have to do is pay a small stipend and they will arrange flowers, chocolates and other romantic gifts delivered to your partner.
6. Thorough vetting and verification process
Their strict verification process is meant to protect members from catfish and dating scams in particular.
Before a user is allowed to get started using the dating service, their identity must be verified. Amo Latina confirms profiles through credit card checks, ID submissions, and live interviews. Anyone who refuses verification or doesn’t pass the process will be denied access to the site.
Members also have the opportunity to report suspicious activity and AmoLatina’s safety team investigates every complaint thoroughly.
7. Affordable services
Although signing up and downloading the mobile application is completely free, AmoLatina is a paid communications platform. This means you’ll have to subscribe to a membership package to access their different services.
The site uses a credit system, which involves paying for credit units using real currency and then using these credits as the mode of payment for different services.
This system helps weed out people who are not serious about finding a life partner and settling down.
8. They offer dating advice on their social media
AmoLatina.com knows that finding someone special takes a lot of work. And they know that it’s not always easy to communicate with strangers online.
That’s why they post regular dating advice on their social media accounts. The topics they cover are:
Frequently Asked Questions About AmoLatina.com
Is AmoLatina.com a dating site or a marriage agency?
Amo Latina is a communications platform and not a marriage agency. The site aims to connect people from around the globe who are all interested in finding and building international relationships.
It is multinational and geared towards Latin dating. Most users on AmoLatina are there to meet potential Latin matches.
Does AmoLatina.com charge for their services? If so, how much?
AmoLatina.com has a credit based service system. Members can purchase a package of 20 credits for $9.99. The package includes 10 free emails, 10 free chats, and free introductory messages.
Users can pay with a credit card or via PayPal. Note that automatic membership renewal is required through auto-charging the credit card or PayPal account.
If you decide to opt for a monthly subscription, you can purchase credit packages at a lower rate. Members are also eligible for larger discounts regarding future credit packages. Learn more about this here.
I started receiving messages from women before I had completed my profile. Does that mean AmoLatina is a scam site?
The reason why many people get messages so quickly is because of a popular feature on the site. The “Let’s Mingle” feature lets members send the same introductory message to all members who have matched their preferences.
For example, when new members sign up, they must choose an option between “Man looking for a woman” or “Woman looking for a man.” Next, they choose an age range — for example, 25-35 years of age. If you happen to match the criteria, you will get messages because someone used the “Let’s Mingle” feature.
Why am I told not to exchange contact information with other users?
Not handing out contact details via the dating site is a part AmoLatina’s Anti-Scam policy.
While the site’s security is of high quality, there is still a risk that someone misrepresents themselves and takes advantage of people. Having all AmoLatina.com users communicate on the site protects users and allows the security team to swoop in if need be.
That being said, AmoLatina does make a few exceptions with this if you can prove that the exchange is an attempt to build a sincere relationship.
If you are interested in this, fill out a form that can be found here, scan a copy of it and send it to AmoLatina through email. Customer service verifies the information and sends it to the person you want to exchange contact information with.
After the team has received the other person’s consent, you are free to exchange the information through the Flowers & Presents feature.
How to sign up for an AmoLatina.com membership?
Simply log on toamolatina.com and click on “Sign in with Email.” Next click on “Create an Account.”
Enter all necessary information like your email, a password and of course your name. Confirmation of the account is not required. You are free to browse other member’s profiles right after signing in.
How can I get in touch with the AmoLatina team?
There are a variety of ways to contact AmoLatina:
Does AmoLatina have an anti-scam policy?
Yes. You can find the Anti-Scam Policy here. On the page, you can find information about what is considered a scam and what are the consequences for scammers. Following are brief examples of what the policy entails.
What is not considered a scam:
Situations that grant reimbursement of credits:
AmoLatina will assess each scam complaint individually and will take appropriate action if a scam is revealed. These actions can include reimbursement of credits for the victim as well as banning the guilty party from the website.
How do I delete my AmoLatina account?
Deleting your AmoLatina account is easy. If you do not want to continue online dating via the site, you can delete your profile by contacting the AmoLatina customer service.
Fill out the contact form on the site by entering your name, email, and message. The customer service team will process your information, and you will soon receive an email confirmation that your profile is no longer active.
How to unsubscribe from AmoLatina’s emails?
This process is easy as well. In order to stop receiving AmoLatina’s newsletters and notifications, open the last email you received from them. On the bottom of the letter is a link for unsubscribing. Click the link and you are removed from the mailing list.
You can also find AmoLatina On Social Media!
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Everyone wants to have a happily ever after. Once you found the girl of your dreams you probably didn’t imagine it would go any other way other than the “growing old together” way.
However, it is an unfortunate fact of love and life that not all relationships make it to this promised land. Whether it is a major scandal like infidelity or something as simple yet devastating as one of you falling out of love, it is always nice to have a heads up.
With the falling out of love part, there are actually a lot of warning signs along the way. Here are some signs she doesn’t like you anymore that might come in handy as you run a diagnostic check to see whether or not your relationship will last.
8 signs your girlfriend doesn’t love you anymore
Sorry honey, I’m busy that day…
This is one of the earliest signs she doesn’t care about you as much as she used to. A key pillar of a successful relationship is spending quality time together. If this doesn’t seem to be a priority for her anymore then there is a good chance that she is no longer as invested in you as she used to be.
That said, be sure to take into consideration factors like schedule changes and increased responsibilities in her life. Sometimes she really can’t make it because of a work thing.
She’s doesn’t get mad anymore
When she doesn’t seem to get mad or visibly disappointed in your transgressions anymore then you, my friend, are in trouble. It might seem like a crazy idea but a woman who cares gets mad. This is because they have expectations and they are truly bothered if you do not live up to them.
On the other hand, if you have been hearing a lot of “it’s ok” or “no worries” when you mess up then your relationship is in the ICU.
But when you fight, she gets down and dirty
Another important sign a girl doesn’t like you is when she unapologetically attacks your weaknesses, especially during a fight. Disagreements in a relationship are a necessary component as long as both of you fight fair. However, when she starts to hit below the belt then she probably has lost all care and love that she had for you.
She keeps you a secret
All of a sudden, you stop getting invited to family barbeques and cocktails with her friends. She seems hesitant when it comes to letting you spend any time with people she considers close. This insistence in keeping you a secret might be a key pointer to her lack of interest in you or having a long term relationship.
The texts and calls don’t flow as abundantly anymore
Remember when you guys first started out and blew each other’s phones up with constant texts and phone calls? Those were the good times, huh?
As the relationship progresses, the frequency of these chats reduces gradually. But there should always enthusiasm on both sides.
If a girl does not like you, she will most likely leave your messages unanswered and calls unreturned. Unless she has a really good reason for the radio silence, expect the worst.
Your physical intimacy takes a blow
Another of the major signs she’s not into you anymore is when she starts to reject your physical advances. It could be that she doesn’t let you hold her hand anymore when you are walking out in public. Or maybe she doesn’t want to get sexually intimate with you all of a sudden despite showing interest initially. Either way, if the physical intimacy is suddenly withdrawn without explanation then things aren’t looking good for you.
There isn’t much enthusiasm about future plans together
A woman who truly loves you welcomes the idea of a future together. She contributes enthusiastically to conversations on you two settling down. She seems excited at the idea of starting a family together. If this is not the case then there is a good chance that she is not interested in that with you.
Despite this being true for most, there are some women who just do not have marriage and kids as immediate priorities. So get to hear her side of the story on this one before you decide she doesn’t love you and you should leave.
She actually tells you
The clearest of all signs she’s not interested anymore is verbal affirmation of the same. Some women will save you the sleuthing and Sherlock Holmes-ing and just tell you that they do not like you anymore.
When she does, please do not fight it. For most people, breaking such news means thinking long and hard about all the factors. If she comes out and says it to your face, it means that she is at a point where she believes that the relationship is going nowhere. So cut your losses and move on. You will find someone else, and that is a promise.
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From friends to lovers
There is probably nothing as frustrating as trying to figure out whether or not a guy likes you. A lot of them aren’t really good at expressing themselves which forces you to play Sherlock Holmes trying to find clues that could give you an idea.
What did he mean with that emoji he sent? Was he staring at me or was he just lost in his thoughts with his eyes fixed in my general direction?
If you are in such a situation then don’t fret. We have your back.
Below are 10 signs he likes you more than a friend.
Of course it is not an entirely foolproof list and context always plays a huge role in determining just how accurate these signs are.
However, for the most part if a guy does any of them they probably are interested in more than being another buddy on the contact list.
10 signs he really is that into you
He makes an effort to spend quality time with you
It is not likely for a guy to go out of his way to spend time with someone that they do not like. He might ask you out on a date. If he is shy he will insist on calling it a casual hangout. However, if there seems to be a ton of these “casual hangs” then you might have a love-struck bug in your hands.
You May Want to Read: 7 Questions To Ask On Your First Date
He is constantly checking up on you
When a guy likes you, he will blow up your phone all day every day. He wants to know how your day was. He wants to know what you are having for lunch. He wants your opinion on something he bought. This constant communication is his way of trying to maintain a connection with you.
He is asking all the right questions
When guys are considering making the move from the friend zone to something more, they usually do their research. He will ask you questions about your values, goals, and basically anything he needs to figure out whether you are the right match. So when the conversation shifts from cartoons and popcorn to dreams and deep feelings then he probably really likes you.
Subtle physical displays of affection
One of the most obvious and accurate ‘are we more than friends signs’ is constant physical displays of affection.
Maybe he is always touching your hair. Or he could place his arm on your shoulder as he is guiding you through a door. Or maybe he lingers a little when he hugs you. More often than not, these are subconscious acts but usually show that a guy is really into you.
He gets uncomfortable when you talk about other guys
Jealousy is another very huge sign that a guy is into you as more than a friend. If every time you talk about a crush or even another guy friend he gets awkward or straight up shuts down then he probably has a crush on you. So maybe don’t bring up how Jack from work bought you flowers for your birthday or many other things that could make him jealous.
He’s making jokes about you two being together
Signs you’re more than friends are sometimes hidden in plain sight. He could be one of those guys whose way of telling you he likes you is through jokes. So if you have heard statements like “if we were together…” or “if you were my girlfriend…” then have your love antennae up. Someone is head over heels.
He treats you like a princess
He will buy you gifts, take you to his favorite spots and straight up spoil you. This is how guys appeal to women’s innate desire to be taken care of and treated like royalty. It doesn’t matter how strong and independent you are these gestures always melt your heart.
He remembers everything you mention
When a guy is genuinely interested, then everything you say is exciting. It could be anything from the story of how you ripped off a fingernail in third grade to what you ate last week for lunch. They also probably also keep bringing the information up during subsequent conversations to show you that they remember.
He is protective about you
If a guy likes you a lot, he will want to protect you. You will see it in subtle gestures like how he always insists on walking on the side of the road where there is traffic. Or how he will always wait for your food to arrive before he starts eating. However, this is a tricky one because some guys do this just out of kindness and because they were raised to be gentlemen.
He straight up says it
And sometimes, if you are lucky, you won’t even need clues. He will come right out and let you know what he feels.
Isn’t that the dream?
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Got a case of the warm fuzzies?
There is truly nothing that can compare to the warm fuzzies you get when you have feelings for someone. It could be a crush on a random stranger that smiled at you in the coffee shop and then asked for your number. Or it could be your wife of 10 years who annoys you all the time, but you still love with all your being.
But exactly what’s the difference between love and a crush?
What is love?
Honestly, there is really no way to summarize love into one definition. But we will give it a try.
To put it simply, love is a deep positive feeling you have towards someone. It makes you drawn to them. It makes you want to spend more time with them. It makes you want the very best for them.
Technically, love comes in many different types depending on the subject. It could be family love towards your brother or a long-time friend. Maybe it is the love you have for your furry little buddy and all his puppy goodness. However, in this case, we will be focusing on what is typically referred to as romantic love.
What is a crush?
While love is typically a deep emotional connection, a crush is often a shallow and temporary infatuation with a person. It is usually based off very surface level information like what they look like, how you both order the same coffee every morning or the fact that she plays the guitar.
Crush vs. love; what are the practical differences
Now that we have the specific definitions out of the way, it is time to look at the actual differences. How can you actually tell whether what you are feeling for that person right now is love or just a crush? Well, here are 6 tell-tale differences.
How it hits you
Love is a slow and precise process. It comes slowly at first then hits you all at onc, and you are a goner. This is because to love someone truly you actually have to get to know them. I know you’re probably wondering to yourself right now, “But what about love at first sight?”
Well, I’m glad you asked. That right there is what you call a crush. It doesn’t matter how strong the feelings are or the power of your conviction that he/she is the one. Crushes hit you fast and hard so if you feel something that fast do not call it love.
How long it lasts
Remember the definition of the word crush? One of the key terms there was ‘temporary.’ That is a major difference here. This is not to say that love always lasts forever. Jeez, this is not a fairytale; it is life!
However, true love does tend to last a whole lot longer than simple crushes. This is because there is a lot of time, emotion and intent invested in making it work.
The driving force
Love is driven by a desire to be together through everything whether good or bad. At the very heart of it, all should be a strong friendship foundation which makes this perpetuating force work.
With crushes, on the other hand, there really isn’t a distinct driving force. You like the person for no good reason and will continue to do so until some random and almost always irrelevant thing stops you. Maybe it is how he ties his shoelaces. Or how she always sniffs her food before she takes it. Crushes are fickle like that.
What do you want from them?
With love, you want your partner to care for you just as much as you care for them. You want to spend as much time with this person as you can spare. You want them to be honest about who they are and open about what they want from you.
With crushes, on the other hand, you probably just want one thing; for the other person to notice you and probably like you back.
What do you want for them?
Love means wanting the best for the other person. Even when that means that you have to lose them, it means being ready to sacrifice your comfort and needs to help them achieve whatever they want. It could be moving with them to a new country as they pursue their career dreams. Maybe you might have to give up meat as she tries this new vegan diet she heard about.
With crushes, it is unlikely that you ever think of the other person’s needs. Don’t worry; this doesn’t mean that you are a monster. It’s just how crushes work. If you do wish them well, it is likely because of your general human nature.
Your perception of the object of affection
When it comes to true love, you do not see your partner through perfection filters. You see them just as they are; flaws and all. And despite all that you still want to be with them and show them as much affection as you can.
With crushes, there is a tendency to see this person as a saint. They can do no wrong. Sandals with socks? He makes it work. Chewing with her mouth open? Aaw, how adorable.
To summarize the difference between crush and love in one sentence: the former is a feeling, and the latter is a verb.
via ❤️ Loving Community ❤️ https://loving-community.com/crush-vs-love/
Read your way to happily ever after
The best way to learn about relationships is of course by experience. However, there is a lot you can gain from the input of other people. All relationships are different, but some of the experiences and challenges couples face are pretty similar.
One way to get this input is through books. I’m not talking about those lovey-dovey novels with cowboys, ranches and single damsels in distress. I mean a good relationship advice book. These are usually by relationship experts but can also be by people who simply want to share what they went through. Whatever the case, they are great tools for building successful relationships.
Here are the nine best relationship advice books:
Attached; The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it can Help You Find and Keep Love
Author – Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Niche – Singles looking to understand love.
This book is one of the best relationship books for guys as it takes a bold and forward approach to understanding how attraction and attachment works. The writers may have taken a more facts than experience-based approach, but it is still very interesting to read. It is particularly useful not just for men but for any single person looking for some help in understanding this whole love thing.
You are a Badass; How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
Author – Jane Sincero
Niche – the art of self-love
For any relationship to work there needs to be a healthy dose of self-esteem in both parties involved. This book is a great way to get yourself here. Sincero takes a very lighthearted and engaging approach to delivering the gospel of self-love. She will have you crowning yourself queen of the world by the time you are done.
Dumped; A Guide to Getting Over a Breakup and Your Ex in Record Time!
Author – MaryJane Fahey
Niche – getting through a breakup
Breakups are not fun for anyone whether you left or got dumped. However, I think we can all agree that the feeling of rejection associated with being the latter makes the pill a little harder to swallow. That is where Fahey comes in with her girl’s guide to getting over being dumped. It is witty and engaging while also emotional and encouraging; generally a great book.
Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional abuse
Author – Jackson Mackenzie
Niche – Letting go of emotional baggage
Breakups are not the only things that hurt in a relationship. You could be in a toxic relationship, an emotionally abusive one or maybe you have emotional scars from some other event. Whatever the case, these all result in baggage that will weigh your relationship down. Whole again was one of the best relationship books in 2018 and will take you through how to get over this pain for a healthier relationship.
When Sorry Isn’t Enough
Author – Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas
Niche – fixing relationship mistakes
We all make mistakes in relationships. Maybe you forgot about her birthday. Or you lost that sentimental gift he got you. However, there are some mistakes where simply apologizing isn’t enough. If you made one of this and would still like to salvage your relationship, then this is one book that will help.
The Wisdom of Sundays
Author – Oprah Winfrey
Niche – peace of mind before and during the relationship
The Wisdom of Sundays is one of the best relationship books for singles who want to be the best versions of themselves before entering relationships. It is about so much more than having healthy self-esteem. The book contains a collection of experiences in romantic and non-romantic relationships that will give you an amazing perspective on life.
Love, Sex and Staying Warm; Keeping the Flame Alive
Author – Neil Rosenthal
Niche – strengthening a long term relationship
This one is the best relationship books for couples who’s honeymoon years are seemingly long gone. This runt is inevitable and if not addressed will leave your relationship dreadfully boring. The book gives couples tips on how to reignite the spark and keep it burning.
The 5 Love Languages
Author – Gary Chapman
Niche – figuring out your relationship wants and needs
This one has been one of the best-selling relationship advice books of all time, and with the author’s revolutionary principles it is not so hard to see why. It is a must read whether you are single or in a relationship. It allows you to understand how you and your partner individually accept and give love. That way you will be able to accommodate their needs.
From Stranger to Lover: 16 Strategies for Building a Strong Long Distance Relationship
Author – Lisa McKay
Niche – LDRs and international dating
For people in long distance relationships, the relationship challenges are pretty unique. This book addresses them in a great way ensuring that you get the advice you need to make it work across borders. The list arrangement also makes it easier to understand and implement all that you will learn.
Each one of these books has a lot to offer you whatever your current relationship status or dynamics may be. You need to have an open mind about receiving input from strangers.
With the nine books briefly reviewed above, you can rest assured that there is real value. There is a lot of wisdom packed into every single page without compromising on entertainment value to keep things interesting. So pick one up depending on your current state and make life a little easier for yourself.
via ❤️ Loving Community ❤️ https://loving-community.com/best-relationship-advice-books/
Learning from other relationships
Whether you are starting something new or you have been committed for years, the value of other people’s relationship advice questions and their answers is always helpful. Remember that despite the differences in participants, all relationships are more or less similar. Some other couple has faced the challenges you now face. Your relationship highs have been another pair’s good times too. That means that there is a lot to learn.
With this in mind, here are 9 of the most common relationship advice questions and answers.
Question #1: When is the right time to introduce your partner to your friends and family?
Meeting friends and family is a pretty huge milestone in any relationship. It shows that you trust your partner and the stability of your relationship to let other people in. One of the best ways to know you are ready is when you can see a future with your partner. The last thing you want is to waste your beau’s time or to get your friends and family emotionally invested in something you’re not confident in.
Question #2: What is a strong and healthy relationship in the first place?
You probably see a healthy relationship as one where you are totally in synch, never fight and generally have everything going well. That is more like a fictional Hollywood-created relationship than a real-life one.
In reality, a healthy relationship is one where despite all your differences you are willing to work as a team. There is great communication, personal growth and most importantly, healthy fights.
Question #3: Is there a place for gender-based roles in today’s relationships?
Here, it depends on your relationship dynamics. If you are a couple that believes in traditional roles then, by all means, divvy them up that way. If you have a more modern outlook, then you can split roles based on ability and availability. The important thing is to ensure that you are both on board and not feeling in any way oppressed.
Question #4: Is it ok for your partner to have besties from the opposite gender?
Having a partner with close friends of the opposite gender is always a point of contention in relationships. It stems mainly from insecurities and the fear that your partner might be tempted to cheat. It doesn’t matter whether it is physical or emotional.
The answer to this question is multi-part. First of all, it is ok only if your partner is doing a good job of reassuring you. There also needs to be boundaries set between these friends. It is also a good idea to get to know your partner’s friends as a way to get some peace of mind.
Question #5: How do you know when you and your partner are ready for that next step in the relationship?
It could be moving in together, getting engaged, buying property together or even having children. All these major milestones above all else require that you are both on the same page and ready. If there is even a sliver of doubt in you or your partner, then do not force it. You are not ready. It is also important that you both trust each other and have proven to be able to handle responsibilities that come with these relationship upgrades.
Question #6: How do you tell when a relationship is toxic?
The best way to tell is through your gut instinct. Plain and simple. If you do not trust it, then you could always listen to input from friends and family who have observed the relationship dynamic. Finally, red flags including cheating, any form of abuse and poor communication are pretty much neon signs pointing to Toxicity City. Pun very much intended.
Question #7: How much time is too much time together?
Being in a healthy relationship does not mean spending every waking moment of every single day together. If your time with your partner is hindering you from other responsibilities like school or work, then it is too much. If it is stopping you from pursuing hobbies and other interests, then it is too much. And if it is keeping you from family and loved ones, then you need to dial it down.
Question #8: How often do couples with healthy sex lives get intimate?
When it comes to sex, it is more about the quality than the quantity. That means that your bond matters more than how much time you do it. The goal is to make it as intimate as possible and not like a routine chore you need to check off your weekly to-do list. Yep, that was another intentional pun.
Question #9: How soon after starting a relationship is it ok to get intimate?
Now that we are talking about sex let’s tackle another very common related question. How soon is soon enough? The truth here is there is no solid timeline of the ideal time to get intimate after starting a relationship. For some people, it is as soon as they meet while others would prefer to wait until they are married.
What matters most is that you at least get to know and trust the person you are with. That way it is not just a physical experience but also emotional.
The post 9 Most Common Relationship Advice Questions & Answers appeared first on ❤️ Loving Community ❤️.
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A bad case of the love jitters
When it comes to relationship problems, anxiety ranks very high on the list. For the most part, it is pretty harmless and will pass on its own. However, it sometimes becomes such a serious issue; it stops healthy progress for your relationship.
In this article, we will take you through all you need to know about relationship anxiety and how to deal with it. That includes its common causes and how to figure out whether or not you are a victim of the love jitters. That way if it is what has been cramping your relationship style you will know exactly how to deal with it.
What causes relationship anxiety?
It could be all in your head or founded on hurtful history. Whatever it is, thinking that your partner could repeat the mistake is enough to get anyone freaked out of their mind.
Abuse of any kind
Anxiety is also related to a history of physical and/or emotional abuse. In these cases, the fear is nowhere near being irrational as there is proof that things could go wrong.
Fear of losing the person
If you tend to get attached to people, then there is a risk of you suffering from relationship anxiety. More often than not, you end up panicking even when your partner gives you enough reason not to.
It could be that you have low self-esteem and you are constantly worried that your partner will leave you for it. Or maybe you feel inadequate and undeserving of your significant other’s love. Whatever it is, insecurity is a major culprit in this form of anxiety.
Anxiety and fear in a relationship are focused predominantly on the unknown. Inexperience plays a major role here. If you haven’t been in a serious relationship, you might not exactly know how to deal with the issues that trigger this response. You are also more likely to end up sweating the small stuff that other people might see as trivial.
Do you have this problem?
From the detailed list above, one thing is clear: relationship anxiety can happen to anyone. If you thought you are immune, run this short diagnostic test on yourself to be sure. If you have one or even more of these signs then you, my friend, are a victim of relationship anxiety.
How to deal with it
If from our little self-test you think you are facing this anxiety, then here are eight steps that should come in handy:
Talk about it with your partner
That allows them to play their role of reassuring you so that you do not have to be stuck in your head overanalyzing alone.
Get a new hobby, job or distraction
An idle mind is anxiety’s playground. Keeping yourself preoccupied means that you do not have time to focus all your mental energy chasing theories that may have no merit.
Address your insecurities
Insecurities are a part of everyday life. They are what make us human. However, when it gets to a point where they lead to unhealthy relationship habits and attitudes you need to deal with them. You can point them out to your partner, a friend or even a professional mental healthcare worker.
Get a second opinion
Sometimes, your anxiety is founded on rational fears. In this case, one of the best ways to confirm that you have a right to freak out is by seeking a second opinion. Share your worries with a close friend or relative and get their perspective. That way you can tell whether you are overthinking or right on the mark.
Turn your Nancy Drew on
A little tasteful sleuthing will also help you clear any doubts or insecurities you may have. No one is suggesting you get a creepy trench coat and follow your partner around everywhere. However, a little shallow digging into their social media profiles will give you a better idea of whether or not you need to be worried.
Don’t ignore the few things you like about them
Remember that it is not all negative. To deal with relationship anxiety requires you to learn how to focus on what you love about the person and relationship. It will go a long way to calm you down.
Learn how to trust
Sometimes all you can do is choose to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Trust that he means it when he says you are beautiful. Trust that she is honest about her faithfulness to you. It is up to you to decide whether or not you are ready for that.
If you can’t get over it, then move on
You cannot have relationship anxiety if you are not in a relationship. Simple math. If after evaluating your relationship and all associated factors you do not think it is worth fighting for, then leave. Nothing is worth your happiness and peace of mind.
via Loving Community https://loving-community.com/overcome-relationship-anxiety/
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